Thursday, January 18, 2007

My friend...

It has been a while since my last post. A lot has been happening in our lives...back to work and school, getting into a routine again (no more sleeping late for me), starting to plan for our vacations, etc. and then something that I had hoped and prayed would never happen did...we lost my nan friend.
Human beings are so selfish, aren't we. My heart hurts because she isn't here...for me. My heart hurts for my niece who will only know her Nan Nan through pictures and stories. My heart hurts for my father who spoke so eloqently about his mother and how if society loved people like my grandmother did, the world would be a much better place. My heart hurts...

But then I think of her smiling face because she is no longer struggling for breath. I see her face and know that she is safe in the arms of her Savior where she can run through the golden streets of Heaven with my grandfather. I hear her voice saying to me..."Honey, don't be sad. You will always have me and I will always love you. You will never know how much I love you until you have your own children and grandchildren." My heart still hurts...

They say with time, a broken heart will heal...maybe so, but I know that a small piece of me is gone because my grandmother has passed. She meant so much to our family and I plan on continuing that in her memory. I love you Nan Nan...and I always will.
I fear that several of my future posts will have something to say or do with my grandmother...she deserves so much more that what I might say here, but it is my way of dealing with the loss.
Trust in the LORD with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge him,and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3, 5-6
Until then...I hope you dance :-)

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